Watching the Mind Lunge

Yesterday was frustrating.

Too many things pulling at me. Client projects. Mission 52. Boat problems. Car problems. Money. Small tasks multiplying into something relentless. I could feel the cortisol in my system. I wanted to tell it all to fuck off so I could focus on the one thing that felt meaningful.

Instead, I wrote everything down. Ordered it. Tried to bring shape to the noise.

Then I sat for ten minutes to meditate.

It was calm. My system began to settle.

Until the final minute.

As soon as Sam announced the session was coming to a close, my mind leapt forward. Reaching for the next task. What’s next? Move. Don’t waste time.

I was still sitting there, technically meditating, so I watched it happen.

It was strange to see so clearly.

Later, when I journaled, it became clearer.

The urgency I feel isn’t always about importance. It’s anxiety dressed up as urgency. But rushing doesn’t create control. It creates more noise.

What actually steadies me is simpler.

• Write it down.

• Order it.

• Accept that I can’t do it all at once.

• Choose the most important thing.

• Do that fully.

One task.

Then the next.

Not all at once.